Mamma T musings

a dream is a wish your heart makes?

What’s the big idea?

We get a picture in our heads about what our life should be like early on it seems. We begin our lives with grand expectations and work towards this ‘dream’.  For instance, most young girls want and expect a “happily ever after” kind of fairy tale love story, straight out of a Disney movie.  Enchanted even.  But wait, why would we want to have a life with an ‘enchantment’ (or a spell) on it? Didn’t think of that did we?

Out of this rosy glowing outlook, we step into adulthood thinking that all our dreams will come true, and that everything from our own castle to a prince on a white horse is just around the bend.  Any minute now, we think, the story will begin, and we will live the perfect little life full of goodness and love and all things wonderful.  (birds chirping in the background, as the camera pulls out and fades to a rainbow)

record screeching….

Stop a second. Where did this idea come from? Fairy tales? Story books? Movies? Yes, yes and yes.  Our whole society’s focus is on giving the best to ourselves, and the goal of life seems to be a complete self absorption to the point that we will do almost anything to make our own dreams come true. After all, there is no such thing as  prince charming, and anyway, there were no castles in my lower middle class neighborhoods in Northern Illinois.  So to MAKE it happen, we begin to compromise, and manipulate situations and people to get what we want; Our OWN Fairy Tale.

I bet by now you think I’m going to spin a few words about how life isn’t like that and suck it up princess because Life isn’t a bed of roses!  Although that is true, because who wants to be stuck by a thorny life anyway, there is more at stake here.

In the Torah, Exodus and Deuteronomy, Elohim (GOD) tells Moses to speak to the children of Israel. Instructing them to put fringes on the corners of their garments, and with it to put a thread of blue. Why such a strange command?  It IS a command, just like DO NOT MURDER.  He states that it is for us to LOOK AT and thereby remember ALL His Instructions and so that we will not go around where our own HEART and EYES lead us, to PROSTITUTE ourselves. But it will help us remember and obey His commands and to be HOLY for our ELOHIM.  Holy by the way means  separated or set apart for a specific purpose. GOD’s purposes.

Our own heart and eyes lead us to sell ourselves in the pursuit of pleasure and things. Prostitution.  It is what we LOVE and SEE that we desire for ourselves; MYself.  This is why advertising works so well.  See where the focus gets off?   God knew we could use some reminders to keep us looking at HIS ways, and the fringes or tzit-tzit is one of those ways.

Yeshua said that in this world we would have…..not castles, servants and wealth….but trouble.  That can’t be right! I’m supposed to always be HAPPY!! Then he said, “FEAR NOT! for I have overcome the world.”  Do not fear what might happen, what is happening, or what has happened.  Yeshua OVERCAME and then somehow puts that same life IN us when we trust in HIS final sacrifice for our sins.  HE was resurrected and lives to intercede FOR US!! While we struggle in this very real world, filled with troubles, HE is bringing us to the FATHER and strengthening us in our weaknesses.  We really have EVERYthing we need for life already.

So our ideas about our own lives require a change, a surrendering.  I surely would never have expected to be living separated from my husband for so many long intervals in our marriage.  My partner and soulmate, Abba’s gift to me, who I can’t imagine living without is now in upstate NY while I remain in Southern Texas.  We are one of those couples who do the best when we are together, and it always seems so foreign to be separated.  Yet, here is the road we have been placed on.  It is very apparent that this is the path our Heavenly Father has layed out for us, and so here we are.  Doing our best to live for our Savior and King, and living fully.  Contentment happens not when things all go our OWN way, but when we submit to the Sovereign King, and do it happily.  My own ideas about what makes one happy are not the same as they were in my younger years, because in this life we do all have trouble.  Tears are there to wash out the pain, to make room for the King to take over the throne of our hearts and lives.  But Trust and more Trust grows with each trial as I place my pain and struggle in our Loving Heavenly Father’s lap and am covered by the shadow of His wings.  Safe and secure, cared for and strengthened.  That is the BIG IDEA.

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